Archive for May, 2006

time or $$ investment?

I think that I don’t blog very often because I have “babies” on the brain for most of the day. Since I’m not pregnant and we haven’t started trying yet (although the “deadline” is fast approaching), I feel that blogging about it may be too premature. Maybe not, though. As I read some of my favorite blogs, I realize that what I appreciate about them is the admittance of struggle (sometimes with helpful advice from readers and sometimes not). So, I’ve decided to write about some of our concerns that we struggle with.

The main one right now is financial. I hesitate to write too much here as folks from InterVarsity are sure to visit. Well, it’s a non-profit, so there’s no surprise that our income is lower than what we possibly could make at a secular company. We’ve done some number crunching and it seems completely impossible for us to live on Nathan’s salary alone – and we’re talking “bare-bones”. This is hard to swallow and leaves lots of unanswered questions and options for the future. Which path is best? Who can tell the future? We’ve had people tell us to let God show us what to do. We believe this. But, we haven’t felt that He’s “spoken” on the subject. What do we take away from that? While the finances seem unclear, our hearts have been moved in the direction of starting a family. It seems like it is time. “I want to have a baby” is a phrase that is heard multiple times a week in our home (no, it’s not just coming from my mouth). Is it irresponsible for us to have children if we can’t completely account financially for what will happen? Is God’s “silence” a draw for us to trust that He will provide or to wait? And, if we were to wait, there’s no guarantee that we’d be better off financially in the future. Either way is unclear. I have heard sooo many times that you’ll never be financially ready for kids. Ok, but where is the line? Is there a line between “uncomfortably tight” and “irresponsible and in debt”?

Then, I think, all this fuss about finances is not what I want to exemplify for my children (wealthy or poor). Plus, the benefits/values of InterVarsity seem to far outweight the cons of finances…Nathan doesn’t have to work 60 hrs. a week to keep a higher salary which means more family time. That is very very important to us. When I think in this “abundance” vs. “scarcity” perspective, I conclude that we are great where we are…on the track for kids and God will provide. But then, unfortunately, I second guess myself and ask if I’m being niave. So, I close with a wide-open invitation for comments, suggestions, “snap-out-of-it” face slappings…whatever seems appropriate. Bring it! ; )

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